A moment of truth

Skeleton training well....
Summer skeleton training is going fantastically, and by that I mean the sprinting, weight lifting, plyometrics, and other physical training for the upcoming skeleton season. I feel overall healthy, am lifting more weight than last year, running faster than last year, and am in better form in both areas. Things look really well for next season, and I'm hopeful to move up from my current rank of 7th.

Riding well...
Also, Angel Fire went really well, and I was (am) super happy to not have gotten hurt there and to be riding my bike so well...I was feeling relaxed and comfortable and having a fabulous time! As a result, I had decided to race all the Mountain States Cup downhills this summer, as well as National Championships in Colorado in July, and was thinking of going to New York for the Windham race in August.

The moment...
(AKA "Come to Jesus" moment...)
(AKA skeleton vs. biking moment...)
(AKA losing the mental edge moment...)
(AKA the moment of choice...)

Then, two weekends ago, we went up to Bountiful, UT to practice for a little local race that was going to be on June 7th. I somehow took a little spill on one of the super steep sandy sections, one where it's so steep and loose that even with brakes locked, the bike continues to surf and slide down the hill. I slid into a pile of rocks, of course, and relaxed to let the armor do its job and to try not to get whiplash. It mostly worked, but I got a tiny bruise on my palm from smacking a rock.

This crash wasn't anything special. It wasn't big. I wasn't hurt. The bike was fine. It was a common enough washout for such a trail.

But I was shaken. I was scared. I didn't want to get back on my bike. For some reason, it had finally driven home how easily I could get hurt and ruin my skeleton training, messing up the upcoming season. Several riders have already ended their summers by crash-caused injuries, and I didn't want to be one of them.

I took it slowly down the rest of the trail, and we loaded up for another run; by the time we got to the top, I had decided to be done for the day.

Retiring?
I had decided some other things too - I was going to talk to the team about "retiring" from the Velo Bella and putting away my DH bike, at least for this summer, since I'm more concerned about safety for the winter season than getting results for the team.

My mental edge was gone for biking, and as we all know, being too slow and cautious is actually more dangerous in biking...speed is your friend.

I've NEVER wanted to have to choose between biking and skeleton, as I love them both. I'm better at skeleton and have a liklier shot at higher things, but I love biking more. And I love the Bellas and don't want to quit; being a part of their goals of getting women into riding, creating women-friendly groups, education, being examples....

BUT, an unexpected solution
In the end, after a week of emails and phone calls, I got the news: I'm not being asked to retire, nor am I allowed! Can I just say how much I love the Bellas???

I'll race some Super Ds and avoid the downhill courses, which will make me much less likely to get hurt, and do more local outreach such as the women's skills clinics that I help Connie with.

Plus, apparently my successes so far in skeleton inspire the team in different ways than only biking might, and we'll share those successes as well. It's not all about results, and I won't be a burden by playing it safer.

It's a weight off my shoulders for sure; I don't want to let the team down since they are so wonderful and a great organization, but I also don't want to risk my winter season. This is a fabulous solution.......